No crying he makes?

FOR GOD’S SAKE GIVE US SOME REALITY.

FOR GOD’S SAKE GIVE US SOME REALITY.

"O Little Town of Bethlehem", today

Nicely rounded explanations
Safe and sanitised solutions
A magic text for every doubt
A definitive answer for every mystery
“There, there everything’s going to be alright.”
FOR GOD’S SAKE GIVE US SOME REALITY.

A woman abused and left used, abused and lonely
A teenage widow behind the love of her life’s coffin
A child whose legs were ripped from his body by landmines
A ten year old township orphan cooking for her little brothers
A father whose child has been found strangled in the forest park
FOR GOD’S SAKE GIVE US SOME REALITY.

A recently wall papered stable
Freshly washed cattle and perfumed straw
A carpenter with extra mural studies in midwifery
Theologically sound eastern stargazing mystics
A perfect little baby “no crying he makes”
FOR GOD’S SAKE GIVE US SOME REALITY.

Impoverished and homeless
Germs breeding in the filth and squalor
A teenage girl screams birth fierce pain
Death squads in the dawn’s first light
Refugees running in fear of their lives
FOR GOD’S SAKE, BORN INTO THE MIDST OF REALITY.

Taken from Steve Stockman's blog, 2009 (http://stocki.typepad.com/)

The Christmas season is one of my favourite times of year, and at the same time the season that causes me the most frustration. Many of us, and I include myself in this, have made negative comments about how Jesus is often forgotten at Christmas. So, then we go to church to celebrate the 'real meaning' of Christmas. This may include a candlelit service, where we sing 18th century hymns and eat mince pies after the service (if we're in Northern Ireland). We also tend to sing about Bethlehem as if it is, and was, a sleepy village. After we have done all this, we leave knowing we have celebrated the real meaning of Christmas.

But, have we? Or, does the verse below describe more accurately what we have celebrated?

A recently wall papered stable
Freshly washed cattle and perfumed straw
A carpenter with extra mural studies in midwifery
Theologically sound eastern stargazing mystics
A perfect little baby “no crying he makes”

FOR GOD’S SAKE GIVE US SOME REALITY.

I crave the reality of the Christmas story.

Impoverished and homeless
Germs breeding in the filth and squalor
A teenage girl screams birth fierce pain
Death squads in the dawn’s first light
Refugees running in fear of their lives
FOR GOD’S SAKE, BORN INTO THE MIDST OF REALITY

It challenges and comforts me to know that Jesus came into the midst of reality. Into a reality similar to many of the people I work with here in Nashville.

Poverty...

Teenage pregnancy...

Perseverance...

Refugees who had to flee their home country...

Don't get me wrong, I love the festive traditions, and I do not believe there is anything wrong with celebrating the birth of Jesus in this way. However, I do believe the problem arises when we are comfortable in these traditions. When we never question them and when we forget about the reality of the Christmas story.

FOR OUR SAKE BORN INTO THE MIDST OF REALITY

Will you...?

Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?

Will you go where you don't know and never be the same?

Will you let my love be shown? Will you let my name be known,

will you let my life be grown in you and you in me?

(The Summons, first verse)

Will I? Yes, with God's help.

For many years we sang 'The Summons' at a service for Christian Unity in my hometown of Larne. This hymn always made me uncomfortable, in a positive sense. I think this discomfort came from the fact that I knew, from a young age, that God was calling me into the unknown. He was calling me to go to a place where I don't know, and where once I had been I would never be the same. When and where this would be, I had no idea.

On 17th August I left the familiar and stepped on a plane to a place I did not know, Nashville, Music City. I was following that call I had been hearing for many years. I say this not to boast about following God's call, that would be foolish. Instead, it is important to recognise that God still calls imperfect people to do his work. Thanks be to God!

This past weekend I got a plane and to yet again fly to a place I do not know. On Thursday evening I flew to Chicago to visit McCormick Theological Seminary (http://mccormick.edu/). Since being in the US, I have become convinced that the next step on my journey into the unknown, is to pursue formal theological education and McCormick is one of the seminaries I am interested in. On Friday I spent time with some of the staff and students at McCormick, which was a great time of genuine fellowship.  I always find it a spiritual experience when fellow human beings share their stories with each other. I was so thankful to be part of this special group of people, even if it was only for a short time. So, if anyone from McCormick is reading this, thank you!

A few photographs from my time in Chicago...

Where I will be after this YAV year, I do not know, only God knows that. In many ways it feels too early to be considering next years options, however many seminary application dates are coming up soon, if they have not already passed. The final verse of the hymn I mentioned at the beginning of this post describes the call I seek to follow, wherever it takes me. 

Lord your summons echoes true when you but call my name.

Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.

In Your company I'll go where Your love and footsteps show.

Thus I'll move and live and grow in you and you in me.

Thanksgiving & Worrying...

First up, Thanksgiving!

This past week I experienced my first American Thanksgiving! We had a great few days off work, ate lots of food and Kelsey visited from San Antonio. 

Thanksgiving with my pastor's family

Lego turkey time!

Christmas lights at Opryland

Mary & Joseph at Opryland

Some YAV love

And Christmas YAV love!

Welcome to Smashville!

Rory the duck on his travels!

Nashville by night

McNamara's Irish Pub

The coolest table in the house

I was too excited to find the NI fire & rescue plaque! 

As you can see I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I have now been in the US for over three months and I have a lot to be thankful for. People have made me very welcome here and even though Northern Ireland will always be home, Nashville does also feel like home. When I talk about my trip back to Larne in April I often say, "I am flying home on 11th April and back home again on 2nd May".

And now for the worrying...

What if I make a mistake in my placement?    

      

What if I miss a mistake in a student's personal statement?

What if I don't know enough about the US college system to help these students?

Am I making myself to vulnerable?       

What if I don't get accepted into seminary or divinity school?

Will I have to go back to a church where I cannot openly serve?

These are the kind of questions that have gone through my mind over the past three months. Now, I am not paralysed by worry and I do not think these thoughts on a daily basis, well not consciously anyway, however they are there. Logically, worrying does not make any sense. By spending time and energy worrying, what will  I change? Nothing. I am sure I am not alone though. We all do it, we all worry about something, it seems to be part of human nature. 

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life..."

Matthew 6 v 25

This verse is one of the most relevant Bible verses for me, and Jesus does not stop there. He goes on to explain to us why we should not worry. It is not merely a command. We do not have to worry, because he has it covered. Every time I read Matthew 6 v 22-31, I feel that God is saying "trust me". 

Another passage I am drawn to is the story of the burning bush (maybe it is from my PCI upbringing). The words God spoke to Moses resonate deeply with me;

"I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob."

Exodus 3 v 6

Not only is He the God who went onto rescue his people from Egypt; He is the same God who has brought me to Nashville, the God who has always drawn close to me (even when I doubt), the God who has not let go of me (even when I tried to let go of Him), the God who I have loved since my childhood and who I fall more in love with as I grow. 

So, why should I worry? Thankfulness to God should trump my worries. Sometimes it does, and even when it doesn't He is still close to me.

"I build relationships"

When people ask me what I am doing on my YAV year I usually launch into something that sounds a little like this, "Well, I am placed with the Martha O'Bryan center at Stratford High School. At Stratford I work with students who are applying to college. I help them with their applications, personal statements, and financial aid. Another part of the YAV program is that we live together in intentional Christian community and we are all hosted by a church - in my case this is Trinity Presbyterian." People often ask me what I have been doing at home since I graduated in '09 and I tell them about my work in Friendship House. Anyone who knows me knows how passionate I am about 'my kids' there so I love to talk about it. 

Friendship House, Sandy Row, Belfast.

When reflecting on how I talk about my last job and the volunteer position I am now in, I think my answer to those questions should be "I build relationships". Today has been a great relationship day. It has been a day when I have been reminded of the strength of relationships which span the ocean and experienced the joy of new relationships here in Nashville.

Yesterday and today I called Friendship House for the first time since coming to Nashville. For any of my new American friends, Friendship House is where I had been working before I came to Nashville. The children, young people and adults of Sandy Row will always have a special place in my heart (I know it sounds cheesy but it is true). I got to speak to about 20 of the children and young people I worked with in Belfast over the past two days.  It encouraged me that even though we have not seen or spoken to each other in two months the connection was still there. The relationship was still there. The comments from the children ranged from "When are you coming home" (5 year old), "Have you bought me anything yet?" (5 year old) "I think you need to come home to spend Christmas with your family" (9 year old), "Let me speak to your friend to see if you are having fun" (8 year old), "So you haven't forgotten about us" (11 year old), and "I'll just book you a flight to come home the marra (tomorrow) and my ma will pay for it" (11 year old). Having that contact with those kids really did make my day and bring a few tears to my eyes. 

This afternoon was relatively quiet in the college room so my supervisor (Kelli) and I spent about 20 minutes taking crazy pictures with one of the kids. We were all laughing so hard that there were tears rolling down our cheeks. At another stage this afternoon I spent about half an hour talking with two girls about home - they were asking me about what is different and we got talking about food, so I have to make another batch of fifteens to bring into Stratford for them! They also starting trying to imitate my accent, which was hilarious! The thing is, the kids I worked with in Belfast even made fun of my accent. I am spreading the Larne accent around the world!

Here are some of the photographs we took today...

Some might say that 20 minutes was a waste of time. We did not write a personal statement or fill in a college application. However, by laughing together we build relationships and therefore we built trust. So the next time I sit down with this young person to work on an application I am more than just Miss Ashley, I am someone she has laughed with until she cried. Even if it was only over silly photographs! The Stratford kids are quickly stealing a part of my heart also. 

The relationships I have built in Northern Ireland and continue to build in Nashville will continue to challenge and change me. 

Another reason I am in love with Jesus - he was all about relationships.

Inspired by Lee and another great man...

I am sorry for my lack of blog posts since my arrival in Nashville. This is partly due to my laziness and our unreliable internet. So tonight Susan and I packed up and came to our local coffee shop 'Ugly mugs' to use their internet.

While I was here I thought I would try a video blog post and that is why this post is entitled 'Inspired by Lee...' (you will have to read on to see who the other great man is). Lee has an awesome blog http://throughsunglassedeyes.blogspot.com/ where he posts his videos. Lee is an amazing guy who I love dearly and his idea inspired this blog post. I also thought it would be cool for you guys at home to see my lovely face in case you are missing it. Although I certainly will not be doing this every time as it did mortify me filming myself in a coffee shop.

Something I think is important to write in here that I couldn't talk about in case I cried is the effect of the kids stories on me at work. Today I was working with a girl who started to talk about how her dad walked out of her life. I do not know the whole story and I have to be careful not to pass judgement on her dad (something I probably have already done - I need to work on this!). It made me think of how blessed I have been to have such an amazing set of parents. For this post I will focus on dad, but mum will get one at a later date so don't worry mum!

So my dad...my dad is someone I admire a lot but probably never tell him enough. Working in a dangerous occupation when we were younger he always made time for my brother and I when he was off work. I know he has always put us first and would do anything for us. We are not a family who always tell each other how much we love each other but my dad does not have to verbalise it, the way he has cared for me shows me. I miss my dad everyday, but thankfully he has got the hang of bbm so we can be in touch nearly everyday! Dad's unconditional love and support for me is amazing, and it doesn't matter how far away I am I know it is always there - so thanks dad!

Well enough of my emotional talk (something I don't do well!). By my next blog post I hope I will have purchased a cowboy hat and boots, so you should start getting excited about the photographs!!

Thanks for all your love and support.

Keep Praying.

My first two weeks...

I have now officially been in the US for over two weeks now. It is hard to believe that after all the planning and preparation that I am finally here. Sometimes it feels a little surreal.

Prepare yourselves; this could be a long blog as I haven’t updated it since my arrival in Nashville.

Beautiful Larne...

My last night at home in Larne was a strange one. As I was packing my final few things I just kept thinking “I won’t be in this room again for over eight months” and I won’t see my family (apart from via webcam) for that long either. That is when the reality of what I was doing finally set in.  However, even though I was sad to leave my home behind, physically, for the year ahead there was never a moment where I thought that I was doing the wrong thing. The word ‘physically’ is probably the most important word in the previous sentence. Yes, I am currently 3,900 miles away from home my heart is not. I am proud of where my roots are and Northern Ireland is never far from my mind. My family (especially Mum, Dad and Ryan) are one of the main reasons I am here. Without their support emotionally, spiritually and financially for this year I would not be able to do it.

I set off from Larne at 4am on Wednesday 17^th August and after a long journey from Belfast to Nashville (stopping off at London and Chicago in between) I touched down in Nashville. Here, our site coordinator, Ben Anthony, kindly met me at the airport. Before I left home Ben had emailed me to ask if my luggage would fit into his mini-cooper, however we didn’t have a problem as my suitcase had been left behind in London! I can’t complain though as it was delivered to my front door by 9am the next day. That Thursday morning was indeed an eventful one. My other housemates had not arrived yet so I spent the first night in our house (known as the ‘Cabana’) by myself. The next morning I woke up around 5am, so I made a few calls home (it was 11am at home) and then I got up to have my breakfast around 8am. You may wonder why I am giving you the tedious details about my first morning in the US, but I have to set the scene. So, I am sitting in our living room eating my cereal and I suddenly get the feeling that someone is watching me. So I turn round to find two police officers peering in the window at me! This was definitely not how I had imagined my first morning in the US to begin. I got up and went outside to find four police officers and two police cars in our garden. However, they were very pleasant and told me that someone had thought our house was vacant and had reported that they saw someone inside! At least we have neighbours who watch our house I suppose. They welcomed me to the area and then went on their way.

My fellow Nashville YAV's

Over the next few days the rest of my fellow YAV’s arrived. We just spent the weekend getting to know each other and exploring some of Nashville. Then on Monday 22^nd we flew to New York for orientation for one week with all the other YAV’s who are heading to various locations around the US and the world. This week made me realize I am part of something bigger. I am not one person setting out on this journey, but I am part of a family – the YAV family. Again, this brings me back to Northern Ireland as during this week I got to meet the YAV’s who will be serving in Belfast.  This was amazing as it gave me a bigger excuse to talk about home!  I met so many great people this past week and I am excited about what this upcoming year has in store for all of us. I can’t wait to hear all the stories!

All the PCUSA 2011/12 YAV's

This past week in Nashville we have been visiting the different agencies we will all be volunteering with and on Thursday morning we visited Stratford High School where I will be based – the program is known as Top Floor.  It certainly seems like a lively place! Kent, my supervisor, gave us some information about the program, so I will give you a summary of what it is. Last year the Top Floor served 223 students, which is more that 25% of the school. The Top Floor is academic tutoring, college prep, and job skills training; it is leadership development, life skills seminars, and ACT prep; it provides classes in film editing, photography, and mixed media art; it teaches financial literacy, resume writing, and study skills. It is a space where students can use iPads, the Internet, and run their own business; it is college counselling homework help, and tutoring in math, science and reading. The Top Floor is a place where one’s needs and interests meet. It is more than an after-school program. It is an academic muse mixing culturally relevant programming with hope, enrichment, and opportunities for success. http://www.marthaobryan.org/what_i_see/blog/2011/02/01/a-trip-to-the-top-floor-stratford.160338

The main area I will work within is College Prep. The Top Floor assists students with college exploration, applications, and financial aid.

•         100% of last year’s seniors served graduated (66/66 students).
•        96.9% (64/66) seniors served accepted into college and plan to enter this fall.
•          On average ACT scores increased by 2.5 points.
•              Last year’s seniors received over 2 million dollars in grants and scholarships.

After the two weeks of orientation I feel ready to start, however I am a little apprehensive about starting. As someone who is not familiar with the US education system, I just hope I can get up to speed quickly.

Another important part of this year is our involvement in our church families. We are all at different churches; Megan and I have been partnered with Trinity Presbyterian. This morning was our first morning worshipping there and it was amazing. They had already made us feel welcome by delivering little welcome notes through the week; and this was just a sign of things to come. It was an amazing feeling to be part of such a welcoming faith community – I am excited about this year in Trinity! http://trinitypresnashville.org/

So this will be a big week for us all as we start out with all our agencies.  We would all appreciate your prayers and support!

Also, if anyone would like to send me anything nice from home my address is…

1509 McKennie Avenue

Nashville, TN., 37206

I’ll be in touch again soon!

One week until departure...

This is my first blog post, so please be patient with me as I get used to this new world of blogging. As most of you know I have been preparing for my upcoming year in Nashville, TN for some time.

In 2005 I was asked to be part of a small team of five young people from the Presbyterian Church in Ireland who were travelling to Mexico to work alongside Amor Ministries (http://www.amor.org/) and Presbyterian Church of New Providence (http://pcnp.org/church/). I was 18 years old at this stage and when I received the phone call from Graeme Thompson I wasn't sure what to say! When I asked how long I had to think about it, he said there was a team meeting the next day. Once my parents gave me the go ahead I knew I couldn't turn down this opportunity, after all it was so random it has to be from God. So, if my memory is correct, less that three months after that phone call I was on a plane to LA. This was my first trip to the US and it was the beginning on my journey towards Nashville.

The team of five from Northern Ireland was part of a much larger team of approximately 80 young people from PCNP. Once our American team mates arrived the five of us from Northern Ireland were put into one of the five different work teams.We spent five days just across the Mexican border where each team built a house for a Mexican family. The thought of being flung into a team with people I didn't know terrified me before departure. Thoughts such as, "will they like me?", "will they understand me?", etc. went through my head. However, this was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had and was very significant in my journey.  So much so, that I went back in 2008 as a co-leader of a team of 9 young people from Northern Ireland. I am sure if you spoke to any of these young people they would also say that their time spent in Mexico was a significant point in their journey thus far.

In 2005, after our time with our American friends in Mexico and San Diego, our small Northern Irish team travelled in LA to spend some holiday time. Before we left, through training and orientation, we had been prepared to see poverty in Mexico, however I did not expect to see poverty in the United States. In my naivety as a teenager who had just left school I thought LA was going to be full of the rich and famous. The amount of homeless people I saw in LA broke my heart. We stayed in Santa Monica and every night walking back to our hostel I could not believe the amount of homeless people I saw. This was the first time I felt a real call from God to work with people who are disadvantaged and living in poverty in the western world, be that Northern Ireland or the USA.

There have been other significant times in my journey, but I will save them for another time.

In June 2010 I began to explore the opportunity of serving in the USA. This was when I came across the YAV program in Nashville and straight away I felt a sense of excitement. So, over a year later, I am now one week away from beginning my physical journey to Nashville via London and Chicago!